meanttobeamama

a natural mama who loves to giggle

Suffering from a chocolate attack. August 5, 2015

Filed under: Posts,Pregnancy,Recipes — meanttobeamama @ 4:44 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

I am currently suffering a chocolate attack. Thats what we call it in our house when you cant think of One. Single. Thing. Except. Chocolate.

Are you still with me on this journey of suffering?

So I began looking for recipes for chocolate bakes with limited ingredients.
(Pinterest, of course.)

I found what is called “wacky cake” or “crazy cake” or even “depression cake”.

This is the recipe I used.

Repeat after me…
Chocolate cake. Easy chocolate cake. Rediculously simple chocolate cake. I will now go bake my own.

 

Nine months already? January 23, 2014

Wyatt is nine months old. How in the world did that happen? I swear, it feels like only weeks ago I was sitting with Shannon Sasseville pushing on my back, and Sue Hudson pushing on my legs to alleviate my back labor. The IV that sounded like a didgeridoo. Laughing really hard about Jim gaffigan. Being terrified to the deepest depths about birthing a baby at 34w 5d. Knowing that I was able to keep him in 24 hours longer than I thought so he wasn’t a 34w 4d. Being left with the fear I did something to cause this preterm baby’s birth. Having a doula that had experienced every thing I was, was truly incredible. To have a midwife go into the NICU and tell them to listen to what I wanted to do and to take their protocol and shove it, was amazing. A husband who was with me every step and matched me tear for tear. I can’t believe this story is now a memory. Wyatt is nine months old. How in the world did that happen? I swear, it feels like only weeks ago I was sitting with Shannon Sasseville pushing on my back, and Sue Hudson pushing on my legs to alleviate my back labor. The IV that sounded like a didgeridoo. Laughing really hard about Jim gaffigan. Being terrified to the deepest depths about birthing a baby at 34w 5d. Knowing that I was able to keep him in 24 hours longer than I thought so he wasn’t a 34w 4d. Being left with the fear I did something to cause this preterm baby’s birth. Having a doula that had experienced every thing I was, was truly incredible. To have a midwife go into the NICU and tell them to listen to what I wanted to do and to take their protocol and shove it, was amazing. A husband who was with me every step of the way, and matched me tear for tear. I can’t believe this story is now a memory…

If you too would like an incredible and supportive birthing team I HIGHLY suggest:

http://www.wellspringwomenshealth.com

https://www.facebook.com/TheBirthConnectionOfNortheastOhio

image

 

“In my next life…” January 15, 2014

Filed under: Breastfeeding Bliss,Posts,Pregnancy — meanttobeamama @ 4:30 pm

In my “next life” I aspire to be a doula. I mean that as in, life with older children. I really believe that is my calling in life. Quite literally to assist a laboring mother as she births her infant. To witness such an ever present miracle. A woman can create a person with her body, then birth that person with her body, and nourish that person with her body. I wish more people were as awe struck with that sequence. It is amazing in the truest sense of the word

 

Whats your “next life” plan? 

Image

 

Haunted. December 25, 2013

Filed under: Breastfeeding Bliss,Posts,Pregnancy — meanttobeamama @ 6:50 am
Tags: , , ,

My baby is eight months old. How did that happen? I feel like our life is in fast forward and I occasionally get a summary of what has happened. I birthed him in April. I am still living in April. I am still living breath to breath, in April. I am still so haunted by April. At 30 weeks I wrote a post about how I felt this ominous situation approaching, not knowing what was to come. What I wrote to you in that post, I had never felt, or been scared of, during my first pregnancy. It turned out to be the worst kind of foreshadowing. The kind that rocks you. The terrifying type. I had no idea while I was writing that post I would bring him earthside just four weeks later. Four. With nine days in the NICU. I spent those nine days counting every droplet and ounce of my milk. And counting every droplet and ounce he ate. I was trying to be a mom in a world where only numbers and science matters. “Nursing on-demand” is crazy talk and by golly you WILL follow the schedule. My baby is healthy now with no developmental delays. He is a healthy weight and height. He is a happy boy. But a mamas heart bears all wounds. It is scarred by past battles, but never forgets what it is like to be “in the trenches”. Our story has such a happy ending, we did not lose him and he is surpassing his full-term comrades. So….why am I still haunted?

Image

 

The 30th week March 22, 2013

Filed under: Posts,Pregnancy — meanttobeamama @ 10:25 am

Im having a kind of freaking out moment. Or several. Or days. I’ve reached the 30th week of this baby number two pregnancy. That leaves us up to 10 weeks until the baby arrives. Or even as small a time frame as “whenever”. Which terrifies me. Not because I feel incompetent of two children, just the mere fact of a possible early infant. Early delivery holds so many scary situations. The NICU, leaving the birth center before baby can come home, not being able to nurse or hold him within the first few minutes and hours after delivery, c-section.  I am hoping and praying for him to come when not just “viable” but when he is healthy and strong. This all sounds like rambling hormones, but it takes up quite a bit of space in my mind…